Dear Jacob

Dear Jacob*code name*,
I really wish I could send you this letter but there’s so many reasons why I can’t..
I never got the chance to tell you how I really feel about you. You’re the only one who made me feel sad like this. And now that we’re not talking to each other anymore, I always find myself thinking about you. You’ve been in my dreams for the past 3 weeks.
I miss your laugh, your smile, your little gestures, your corny jokes and cheesy lines. I miss every little bit about you.
You’re very different from all the other guys. We’re so different in a lot of ways but alike in thousands. You never actually met my standards but that’s what makes me like you more. I can just be myself around you, not caring whether you’d hate the real me or not. You know me better than I know myself. You understand every little part of me and not once have you judged me. You’re the sweetest guy I’ve ever known but I took you for granted. I’ve been thinking about you alot lately. Like alot. And I wonder if you think of me too. But I know that that’s an unlikely possibility after what I did.. I know I can’t change the past but there’s something that I ought to tell you… Everytime I feel down and sad, I just remember all the the things you said and the sadness seems to shun away. And I wanna thank you for that. I know it won’t matter now but I’ve liked you ever since you lent me your jacket. I know it may sound shallow and people won’t understand. Anyway, before I erase this letter I wanna tell you that if you ever feel down or you just wanna talk about anything. Anything at all. I’ll be here for you. Just like you’ve been there for me.

 

– I wrote this awhile back. April 13, 2010 to be exact. I needed to let it out so I’m posting it.

– Jan 😐